Here's a thought for the ages: What is JOY, and how do we get somma that? Attempts at this question have been made by all sorts, from spiritual gurus and philosophers to chemists. In December I had the privilege of speaking with someone who might actually have an answer... because he's kind of all of the above?
Dr Michael McGee is a three times board certified psychiatrist specializing in trauma and addiction. He's practiced for over 30 years and worked with thousands of patients and clinicians. He's written two books on addiction and recovery. Visit his website: www.drmichaelmcgee.com. He has tons of resources on trauma, addiction, and mindfulness. He's well established and respected nationally in his work.
He also plays piano, and has recently created an immersive jazz piano performance that blends music and mindfulness, walking the audience through such "simple"-sounding topics as joy, play, and celebration.
But because of his background, when he speaks about these topics, "simple" pleasures seem hugely important! I'll share 3 of his 12 lessons, but he dropped gem after gem.
He was kind enough to share a video recording of his performance:Watch it here. I also highly recommend you listen to our conversation.
Noticing and savoring
"As a psychiatrist, I work a lot with a lot with suffering, right?" Dr Mike says. "A lot of my work is about helping people to find and cultivate their own life wisdom." Just to set the scene: his "jam" is working in psychiatric hospitals where people are confined for drug and alcohol abuse, and have often suffered horrible upbringing and interpersonal traumas. "These are my people!" he says, and he speaks of them with such compassion and kindness. "But we all have trauma... I think that part of healing is to find flourishing in the midst of suffering."
How do we do this? Get small. Notice the tiny things. "We habituate to the miraculous," he says. "Part of awakening and savoring is to just de-habituate, and just notice this incredible gift of existence."
He starts his performance with a single note. He plays one note, and just looks around, connecting and smiling with the audience. Then he adds one more, and another, and by the time he's playing a full chord you really do feel like it's a miracle to experience just hearing the sound!
Liberation from perfection
Dr. Mike makes it clear that he is an amateur pianist, and I think he uses this to set expectations that his playing may not be perfect (for the record, he's pretty good). He sees how far others have gone in jazz and even how much farther he can go, and he says, I'm not that. And that's okay.
"It's deeply socialized in me that you gotta be perfect," he says. "Or, you know, you're not gonna get into medical school, you're not gonna pass your exams."
As a psychiatrist, Dr Mike works in a world where the smallest misstep has extreme consequences! He can't have an "off" day, or be "brain-dead" for an afternoon (like I have been this last year, yeesh!). He must be on all the time.
"So this is where music is very healing for me because I mean, if I were a professional musician, I would starve," he laughs. "So music is really an opportunity for liberation, right?"
[In my performance] I played Blues for Alice, the Charlie Parker tune. That's a hard tune. It goes fast. There's like a million chord changes, one after another. But at the same time, if you hit a wrong note, it's okay. You just keep the flow going, right? And don't beat yourself up and don't judge yourself and just, you know, let it be okay.
There are 2 truths active at once: 1) he is an amateur musician, without perfect technique who makes mistakes when playing; and 2) he has wisdom and value he can share. A lot of us get stuck thinking it must be one or the other, but he lives in that in-between.
Celebrate your strengths, and the strengths of others
In his performance, Dr Mike brought up a colleague who also plays jazz piano. He introduced him and pointed out several things he found amazing about his playing. He says it's so important to balance BOTH sides of the scales: celebrate your strengths, and also the strengths of others.
If we can be grounded in our basic goodness...like, 'Hey, you know, I may not be the best, but I'm okay and I'm good enough and it's okay for others to be better than me'. For me, that's a huge life lesson, right? And with trauma that capacity gets very, very damaged.
I think even, even without trauma, we're social animals from a neurobiological and evolutionary perspective. Where you are in the hierarchy, how good you are or not...We are highly, highly attuned to social hierarchy.
But we're in a different environment now where I think we can transcend our neurobiology. So an intentional practice of just being good enough, and to really enjoy music, even though so many other people are so much more gifted than we are; I think that's a great opportunity to practice that, and then to generalize [it] into our life overall.
Y'all, there was SO MUCH in this conversation - this is barely the surface. Take a listen and please do watch the recording of his performance.
This was my 50th podcast episode! Thanks for hanging in there with me. This is an amateur project and I certainly lean into my many flaws. I appreciate you being along for the ride!
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